Howdy,
About camping, What if?—or, If only …
Since I had a break in the action of this series, I won’t feel as badly about reworking and reintroducing (reusing) this introduction; but then I won’t keep pounding it to death for the last three posts in this series on romanticized camping, which really ends up being happy digs.
Camping is fascinating. And hilarious.
It’s hilarious that we romanticize it.
It also makes sense, because as I’ve said so many times now in this elastic string of episodes: camping is hope, high expectations and assumed promises each a roped-end holding up the hammock.
Camping holds an anticipation of relaxation. Adventure. Escape. Special hunger and satisfaction, fired up. Epic stories all around.
But you know what happens to real hammocks strung between two trees hung with real rope? The collapse with a snap and crash to the dirt, the ever-present dirt.
This happened to us this very weekend. I strung a hammock—with the very straps that I use to secure our beautiful red tandem kayak on the roof rack of Sarah’s silver Xterra (it’s a good look, I must say)—and it came crashing down. Surprisingly, it wasn’t my weight that did it. (Who has time to relax in a hammock when camping?) No, it was the kids, the children, the wild animals, running all over the place having a grand time. They really did! And part of their wild, active, healthy, and wholesome play (fairly hurt-free as well), included swinging hammock rides that resembled NASA rocket launches. (And a few crash landings as well. Let’s see, I know of at least three kids that terminated his or her sky swinging flights with flips and flops to smack landings on the face.)
We warned them: warned them to settle down the swinging; warned them of how to swing legs out first to stand up safely; warned them not to splat on their faces like the kid before them. Warns didn’t work. And soon my hammock didn’t either. The aggressive swinging and triads of joyfully screaming children being pushed violently by a couple of greedily gleeful others rubbed those strong straps to snapping frays. I wasn’t in eyeshot to witness the finally dumping to the dirt, but no bones were broken, and I got to untie the tattered remains of my “rope” that I thought would be stronger than just any old rope.