Howdy,
—Hello. Hello? Hello!
—Hellooo-ooo-ooo?!
—HELLO???!!!
—Someone there?
—Thought I heard someone, something. It’s really dark in here. Can’t see a thing.
It’s not hard to imagine a big, important, invested project, goal, or stage of life — one once filled with new life and promise — diving down, tumbling, in descent to a dark place when exhilarating beginning or exhaling end slip out of sight like George Clooney with no Gravity. Down, and out, where hope, repeatedly sucked away, is lost.
The Dark Night of the Soul.
In the creative sense, it’s a sagging dip. Neon “BEGINNING” and stage-light “END” flashing only for others. The lucky ones. The chosen ones not me. The soul here, is in the dark.
Matt Garman and I talk about it on this week’s podcast.
Monday: “Happy Monday!” Tuesday: Living well. And Wednesday: Bam! Dark Night of the Soul.
Well …
To be honest, because of the podcast, I started this post with the contrived idea that I’d describe my current, bear of a project as putting me in the dark: but, honestly, that wasn’t honest. (Sorry, elections will be over soon. No lie. Whatever the outlook, I do encourage you to vote. Afterward, we can construct a real Dark Night of the Soul political post. I probably won’t do that. But vote: and pray.) For my project, I’m too close to the beginning to be sagging to the bottom in the middle.
Now that’s a downer.
I’m so far from the middle that I’m not yet allowed my own project Dark Night of the Soul.
I’m staring at writing an average of 550 words a day, for daily posts. Every day. For a year.
Only ten days in, and I can imagine, “It’s really dark in here. Can’t see a thing.”
I can imagine it, because the total goal’s huge, with such an elongated duration requiring diligent consistency. Discipline.
I can say, even now, it’s really dark up ahead. Sure, I can still whip my neck around for a reassuring glow of hear-we-go! Which really only seems to be serving to make this topic currently contrived. It’s behind me.
The backlight’s because I’m still standing in the foyer, only sort of entered, peering into “The Life of a Project” (see the fantastic graph Matt and I discuss on podcast from page 83 of Austin Kleon’s wonderful book Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative) where it will expand and drop and bounce … and drop and bounce … down and up The Life of a Project checkmark that Mr. Kleon stole from Maureen McHugh, as he tends to do, most admittedly — skillfully communicating that other artists should as well. See below, mission accomplished.
(Here it is, the fabled graph that has anchored two TNC Podcast episodes. Page 83 of Austin Kleon’s book, Steal Like an Artist.)
Only ten days in, I can’t claim Dark Night of the Soul. I haven’t done enough yet, haven’t vested. I have an idea, a goal.
But, no, more than an idea. I have a commitment. One day at a time.
With that commitment, I’ll need a lot more ideas. I trust they’ll come.
Some are already stored. And recently I heard a writer shouldn’t give too much consideration to saving the best ideas for later, but rather spend the best on hand with abandon. Making room for the next best idea.
Hellooo-ooo-ooo?!
Howdy, I’m here.
This way …
—Billy
Reading. Writing. Living.
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