Howdy,
How ’bout a multiple-choice question to start our day?
NO, NOT A TEST!! COME ON, WHY?!
It won’t be that bad … In fact, ridiculously easy, or at least ridiculous and easy.
Let’s do it:
“If my wife, Sarah, and I have 3 children, and [no, don’t worry, this won’t be mathematical on what time two trains (and maybe a mystery third train) crash inside a dark tunnel under a steep, snow-covered mountain specifically in a particular point on that certain death curve] one of us is going to be the one to have had 3 epidurals, which of the following is/are true?”
A) Duh. Sarah, the beautiful mother of three amazing boys.
B) “B” because “B” is for Billy. Makes sense.
C) Hmm, “If” — Maybe they don’t even have three children …
D) Wait, trains???
E) What does this have to do with anything?
And the answer is, checking the answer key, ah …
ANSWER: B) Billy.
Choice B), and maybe E). We’ll see how this post goes. Leaving station with a rickety-trestle departure.
Come to think of it, maybe E) will be the overriding answer, and I should lock the brakes on this runaway right now. But I watched Unstoppable, and that seemed like a lot of effort. You can-not stop this. (Also watched Hitch.)
To get back on track, so, yeah, if you think of it and would be so kind as to say a prayer for me, this afternoon I’ll be getting my third spinal steroid injection for a bad back. My bad back.
It’s been over three years since my last epidural spinal steroid injection — steroid injection sounds so much manlier than epidural — for relief, recovery, and rehab help, but this summer sparked new herniated disc trouble (PAIN!!) pushing out against the opposite side nerve — shifting sciatica fire from left side to the right. Cue it up: “My life is good!” (Just seeing if you’ve been paying attention; and because it’s fantastic to have nerve pain actively encroach both sides of the body over time. It’s the best.)
Speaking of steroids, a fit friends tells me I should workout like mad while this stuff’s in my system to take full advantage of it. His personal trainer wife says it doesn’t work that way. We can keep an eye on the earlobe muscles to find out.
If you’ve waded this far through the silliness, I really would like you to know I’d appreciate your prayers, especially since I was supposed to receive the spinal injection last month, but the procedure didn’t go as expected at the start and was halted midstream after the numbing shot; the doctor choosing to play it safe. Me fully agreeing, especially considering the discussed potential complications and outcomes. Thus, I’m a little more rattled than I’d been the previous two times a few years ago.
Also, yes, it’s true. My Beautiful Love, Sarah: three wonderful boys birthed, zero epidurals.
Nothing against epidurals; obviously, I’m grateful for them, thankful to be getting one today. Also, in regard to pregnancy, labor, and delivery, I’m in no position to rate or pontificate about the serious, severe, and even life-threatening pains and complications pregnant women endure. Thank you, Mothers; you are amazing.
About my wife, she’s amazing. Astonishing. That’s my point. Sarah’s so tough and gracious she doesn’t always get her due when she’s due. She wouldn’t say it, but it’s true.
There’s even rumor of pregnancies during which I vomited more than she did.
It was bad pizza, I tell you. I’m not a wimp. At least, it tasted bad the way I last remember it. And there, my friends, we’ve hit the tangle of trains …
Rewind & Redo: my wife and sons are wonderful, moms are amazing, and I’d appreciate your prayers today. Thank you!
—Billy
Reading. Writing. Living.
P.S. For D), who doesn’t want to say, “Well, when do they leave where, and why? For goodness’ sake, WHY?”
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