Howdy,
I don’t have a great feel for what to write today.
Even as I have a wonderful (and so doable that I fully believe I will do it) opportunity to go over 7,000 words ahead of my word count pace. Even as I have totaled over 180,000 words in this writing goal for a year—with a likelihood of hitting 181K today if I accomplish even a percentage of my 550-daily-average—I don’t have a great feel for what to write.
Not right now.
I already wrote a free write worth 569 words, so keeping pacing isn’t the problem.
It’s kind of crazy, like the fact that I’m ahead now, that I’m less than 20,000 words away from the finish: I feel like I’m already done.
Just today. It’s a feeling. A sort of writer’s block, maybe, but I don’t intended to truly accept it as writer’s block or describe it as such, because I’m writing, I’m working, I was, as I mentioned, free writing just fine. Even as I write this, exploring a lack of topic due to an uneasy settling in of a lack of need ahead of time, I am not blocked from writing. This isn’t as dark and rigid as the dreaded opaque writer’s block.
The interesting part is the feel. And feelings, and how they affect a day’s work or approach. But that’s a major part of the process of this word-count writing project that I’ve been able to bore so far into this year, doing the work even when I don’t feel like it, when there’s not a great feel.
More than that, though, is this notion that the end is sprouting on the horizon, growing quickly, and that it could take my eye off the finish line found down near the ground, chest-level, up from where my feet dig and push on the street I’ve been traveling to get to this point.
I believe it’s more that tomorrow will be different than today, that new topics will come to mind or that I’ll dig further into my idea folder, filed within the one entitled: “FUTURE”.
For what it is, I think I did pretty well for today, yet I hope tomorrow is better, because: not having a great feel, that’s not a great feeling.
—Billy
Reading. Writing. Living.
P.S. What does feel good: 181K! Only 19,000 words left to reach my personal commitment to compose 200,000.
Word Count: 181,060 / On Pace: 173,800 / Year’s Goal: 200,000
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