Howdy,

Why do I write so much, so often, about my kids?

Sometimes I wonder, ponder that question myself.

All the same, get this, though. Hilariousness from the backseat. That’s one of the reasons why the kids; they’re riotous.

So, yesterday, we Hawes 5 were traveling back from a Mother’s Day weekend with my mom in Mariposa — rolling away from a Mother’s Day breakfast for an hour and half drive to a Mother’s Day lunch. Both were nice and delicious and left me un-hungry.

As we came into Turlock I went to the radio for a bit of a tease for the Mother in our car (who turned down a Mom’s Day dinner on the grounds that we’d hit the restaurants around for one day). I spun the dial in search of hard rock, dubious hip hop, or whatever we could crank deliriously: and even found a road-apple’s worth of sappy, ridiculous country—something dumb about a Flatliner. Truly a song to stop the heart. Bonus.

Anyway, I achieved my aim: Jasper and Ti bobbling heads and Sarah shaking hers.

Encouraged, I amplified the volume. Thumping down Monte Vista, we cruised “University Way” like college students and the gas station’s village jerk.

The boys played along beautifully—until …  Continue reading

Happy Mother’s Day!

Love you, Mom.

Moms.

Mom, Mom, and Mom.

Thankful. Love you.

So do my boys.

Happy Mother’s Day from us!

—Billy
Jasper, Titus, and Riah Hawes

Reading. Writing. Loving.

Howdy,

I heard myself say something today that I’d not pictured myself producing—not thought to anticipate such a “cultivated” thing.

And it’s not because I opened my mouth and my father’s words came out, like grown “boys” relate in a stirring of astonished dread and pride and … not sure what to think about that. Not that. But it did associate with my dad—why it’s surprising.

Again driving Jasper to school, we passed a sprouting cornfield. Striking, I pointed it out to my son.

“Look at that new cornfield, Jasper. Small plants: neat with the budding green and the brown of the dirt showing through like that. New growth.”

And then came the kicker: five words … “It looks like Grandpa’s garden.”

—Billy

Reading. Writing. Hawes & Gardening.

Word Count: 116,715 / On Pace: 114,400 / Year’s Goal: 200,000

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Howdy,

Was listening to the Cathedrals album by Tenth Avenue North in the car this morning, taking Jasper to school. It’s a fantastic, rich work of art and spirit by the way; I’ve recommended it before, and I’d recommend it again. Tenth Ave N. has strong, meaningful songs on all their records—seem to come from a good place.

One of this morning’s songs playing was track 2 “Stars in the night,” and Jasper liked it; particularly about the fight. He started to sing a bit in the chorus, “Hallelujah, we’re running to you // On fire from the mercy in your eyes // And through the dark, singing we are yours // Your love will lead us through the fight // Like stars in the night // Like stars in the night // Like stars in the night // Lead us through the fight …”

That quote represents the words from the CD jacket, not Jasper’s singing on the first pass … so I clicked left to repeat the start of the song and give him another shot—it’s so sweet to hear your kids singing good lyrics—but I accidentally backtracked to the disc’s opening song, apparently, because (and I’m just putting this together now as I write) I got tangled in the wrong “fight.”

Each of the first two tracks feature fights, I see.

What’s funny is I told Jasper, “You like the fight part, don’t you?” He nodded. And after listening a beat, I said, “This is a good reminder for kids and parents.”

That doesn’t makes sense now, looking at the lyrics for “Stars in the night,” but I said that because the song “No man is an island” has a progression that goes like this.

“You don’t have to fight me, I am for you.” Which I can hear a parent (who wouldn’t even have to be overly frustrated at this point) explaining to progeny, can’t you?

That settles it. I mean, I know my kids get stuff at the first sit-down (running-around) lecture of words washing out in a frothy sea of words, splashing under torrents of words, spilling from adults above, giving the words “what” and “for.”

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Howdy,

Spent some time today editing a thousand words worth of the Jake Jones story. From chapter two, here’s what’s “new” with the novella:

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Howdy,

Not sure if the world’s depraved?

Proof is in the air.

I’m serious, all it takes to see that the (fallen) world we live in is depraved is a short, anxious, automobile trip to pump pressurized air into a leaking tire.

I mean let’s look at this. First, you go to drive, along your way, just a normal day trying to go do normal things—except your left, rear wheel is sagging so much into a fattened-ballon shape that you can’t help but notice that there’s going to be no way to ignore the pain in the neck (knees in my case as the squatting to fill the tire and coming out of the crouch made me feel like an old, retired catcher, which is the main position on the baseball diamond that I did not play—but more about that later since it actually took awhile and some doing to even get into that position to inflate the flattening tire) that dealing with that stupid flat is going to be.

So, there’s that. The flat.

But since it’s your lucky day and the tire’s not actually flat yet, only flattening, and like I said, sagging: like skids for a pontoon plane.

So, you (me) decide (this is what I decided to do) to risk the ride to get the vehicle to the closest car wash where about a month ago, or about forty posts back now, you noticed that they had hoses for water and air to go along with the free vacuums. You definitely decide to go there, since it’s free and you’re (I’m) cheap, and who wants to pay for air? (Not me!)

So, I’m there. And I’m driving around the couple of rows of vacuuming parking spots, looking for that air that I’m sure I’d seen. I’d swear I had. I’d thought it was cool they had it: thought it pretty great—even made comment to Sarah at the time. I circle again, knowing the one spot I was sure it’d been before, but not seeing it and so making the circle unsure another again.

Feeling a bit crazy, or something—at least confused, or surprised that I could find what I knew was there—I park and walk over to where the paid car washing happens and divert some of the car-guiding attendants attention and ask her, “Hi, thanks, is there air for filling a tire here?”

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Howdy,

The title “Knocking out a novella” should definitely have an … ellipsis.

“Knocking out a novella …”

Because to this point it has been a project that was supposed to be fast and finished, a few months back. Even a year ago, if you’re harsh and specific (well, really only technical) about it — since I had sort or, kind of, hoped to wrap and publish in the waning sands of 2016 slipping into 2017 …

Well, now I start again to end.

I can hear my creative partner, Matthew K. Garman, saying a “Well, hallelujah, Billy” and it sounds more like an “about time.” Publish that content.

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Howdy,

Last Sunday morning our pastor said, “Put this — if you have a bucket list or as I call mine ‘If I were to die today … list’ — on it, at the top of your list, ‘To understand Revelation chapters 4 and 5 before I die.’”

Now, to hear “to understand Revelation—” might lose some of us right there. To understand the Book of Revelation? Now, that’s a chore, for those on this side’s shore.

But, but, but (it’s exciting!), let’s cover a few things, take a stab at a start, and see what this is about. I’ll offer a few of the preacher’s thoughts and some (big chunks) Biblical text. (Actually, it’s even two preachers’ thoughts, because we’ve had one pastor submerge into chapter 4 and the other follow up with five over the last couple weeks.)

Revelation 4 takes us to “The Throne in Heaven.” How’s that for a starting place? The pastors, they say, we go to the throne room of heaven for a worship service. A WORSHIP SERVICE. And, it is good to remember The Reason, the Worthiness, revealed and exhibited in these chapters when neck-deep in the blood of judgment that commences in the next chapter, six, and through to the end of the Book.

The end of the Book, the end of the Story, the End, an End of a Beginning. Everlasting and for-always. Eternity. With Eternal Reign: and Worthy Worship.

The reason for the great judgment.

So, what’s in there, chapters 4 & 5?

“Heaven … ‘Come up here, and I will show you [John] what must take place after this.’ … And day and night they never cease to say,

‘Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!’

And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to Him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before Him who is seated on the throne and worship Him who livers forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,

‘Worthy are You, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for You created all things, and by your will they existed and were created’”

(selections from Revelation chapter 4).

And, there’s so much more: Continue reading